Short ShortsCreative Patience
Pushkin did his writing in the autumn. He waited for the fruit to fall.
While gathering mushrooms he disappeared into the ground.
But came up the following spring.
Love Is Making the Effort
The town drunk cleans himself up. The family is visiting.
I see him tottering along beside a nice-looking young woman, Paris dressed. The collar of his shirt is slightly cocked and the tie is back to front. He’s proud of her, and I don’t think his grand-daughter knows what he has sacrificed. Sorrows will be drowned when things return to normal.
If you can judge people by their dog, Pamela is a very nice animal.
The finger on my pulse will close my eyes.
Two Armstrongs in the Headlines, Summer 2012
Une grand pas pour Neil. Faux pas pour Lance.
One big step for Neil. One false one for Lance.
It wasn’t an embrace. She was only trying to light her cigarette
under his arm.
A barbaric tribe that drive white vans.
Traffic Jam : La Jonquera
Hell city is ring-fenced by forest fires.
Sanctuary (October 2012)
Holy water in Lourdes. There’s too much of it.
You have to be winched out.
A La Plage
Reading, a dying art, has been re-kindled.
Boss On A High-rise Window Ledge
‘I’m sorry I’m going to have to let you go.’
The Gentle Giant
Doesn’t eat his victims but throws them back.
Monsieur and Madame
are trying to hide it.
A big dog in a pram.
The baby inside it.
She can see into maternity.
The hand hanging out the car-window…
How I Live with the Seven Deadlies
Pride: no reason for it.
Covetousness: far too long a word for shopping.
Lust: a thing of the past.
Anger: is bad manners.
Envy: never occurs to me.
Gluttony: haven’t the stomach for it.
Sloth: I’m too busy.
It’s better to have more than one reason for doing anything.
Otherwise it puts a strain on it.
If you’re calm with dogs they sit at your feet.
If you’re calm with birds they land on your shoulder.
If you’re calm with humans they walk all over you.
Notation Agents (Moody, Standard & Poor)
The smirking face of Capitalism.
Subtract the difference between the rival’s vote
from the sitting President’s, and add it to his.
After the Arab Spring
When people say nothing has changed
they are expressing a preference.
As you get older, life becomes more like a job.
Becoming aware you are being humoured.
On Taking Your Own Advice
Seneca, the timid defender of virtue, said,
‘It’s not because things are difficult that we don’t dare.
It’s because we don’t dare they are difficult’.
Seneca prepared Nero’s defence when he murdered his mother,
making things difficult for himself by not daring not to,
and had to kill himself.
‘Ignorance of the law is the best guarantee of justice.’
You only get one chance to put on your pants.
Get it wrong and you pass the rest of the day
with them back to front.
Dish in the Dark
Mussels in black rice are best eaten blind.
A dirty baby walked into my dream and said,
‘Evil boy wake up’. And I did.
Encounter with Nothingness
Anton Draoui, a twenty year old hippie is arrested in Cerbére on the border with Spain. He claims to be Russian, showing a Soviet passport (now redundant).
He is on a wanted list for the murder of Marie-Jean Mayer in La France Profonde. The schoolgirl was raped, strangled and the remains found in a sack on the bottom of a lake.
Anton Draoui said he did it while he was in a ‘second state’ because of his mother, a drug-addict.
He was born in Tournon, where Mallarmé had his famous encounter with Nothingness.
Note well the necrosis of the small toe.
The rot setting in. Feel the gangrene grow
in the system. It’s not a stranger to men.
The smell of socks. Yesterday’s socks.